This made me cry. I've been told I'm intimidating by so many people (including a couple that I've tried to date over the last year) and I feel this constant pull to make myself less. This gave me permission to stop trying to be less. I'm in a relationship now with a man who has always told me that the place that I'm in is too small for me and that I should be taking my talents where they will be celebrated and used and I realize now that he thinks I'm intimidating in the best way. Oof.
I loved the conversation about being intimidating on the podcast episode and I love this expansion.
I’m a 37 year old single straight women, and I’ve had other (generally Evangelical) women tell me most of my adult life that I’m intimidating as the reason they think I’m single 🤷🏽♀️
Intimidating’s cousin, too confident, has also been a descriptor directed at me at work, but I’ve been able to use my intimidating confidence to my advantage (mostly) in that setting.
Matthew Paul Turner’s children’s book “When I Pray for You” includes the line, “Cause when I pray for you, God knows this is true, every prayer that I whispered was a prayer for me too.”
While I know you wrote this incredible and beautiful passage for your daughters, it’s a prayer for me too. I suspect it’s a prayer for you too, Beth. So many of these attributes clearly connect many of us. You’ve made many of us feel seen and valued.
I want you to know that I see these beautiful attributes in you too.
I read this to my husband and my 19-year old daughter at the dinner table. Dear friends of mine have told me that I "scare them" and I can only assume they must mean in all the best ways you explain. My daughter gasped at "I mean that it will be hard to have true friends until everyone grows up a little more" as that has been SO TRUE for her. She and I both got choked up at the "could not be more proud of you" line. She and I hugged afterward, and then I hugged my husband too for absolutely encouraging his two "intimidating" women. Thank you Beth!
Thank you Beth! When I was about 15 my dad told me I was intimidating, he meant it the same way. I met my forever person a few months ago, and just last week he told me I was intimidating - I knew it meant he loves me for my strength.
This was my favorite part:
"When I say you are intimidating
I mean that you are at peace with yourself
in a world where that is rare and overwhelming to others"
You are a life giving writer ~ pronouncing blessing and light over your daughters and readers. You encourage all to live out WHO you are and that is always ENOUGH.
When you said this on the podcast, I burst into tears so loudly that I scared my cats. I was home visiting my parents with my husband recently, clearing out my childhood things before they moved to a new home. We found my kindergarten report card, with an entire letter attached about how I was intimidating the other children in my class. My whole childhood I was told how bad that was, how bad it made me. So reading this healed my inner child just a little bit, and I've written it down to share with my future (god willing) intimidating children. Thank you, Beth, for continuing to be one of the most thoughtful human beings on this chaotic planet.
I'm bawling my eyes out at your poem for your daughters. Partially bc of what I said before: they are SO lucky to have you. And secondly, because I so.wish Id had someone to say it to me.. You're gifted, Beth.
The amount I wish someone had said this to me at 10 and the amount I want to speak it over my daughters and students is astonishing - that you for putting words to the reality of being a woman with thoughts, opinions, and who aren’t afraid of the world
Beth, I appreciated your comments on the podcast & also here. Your words have reminded me of more than a few moments in my own life, including times when others found me "bossy" though internally I wasn't intending to dictate actions at all. You helped me realize I was problem-solving, but others experienced me as bossy. I think I can work with that. I'll note here as well how disorienting it can be to have your internal experience of yourself & the external responses to you be so at odds. I also remembered a time of processing the end of a significant friendship (an ending I didn't understand) with another close friend when I noted that I'd realized my former friend wasn't a "fighter." The friend with whom I was processing paused for a moment & then said, "It would be hard for a person who's not a fighter to be your friend." Some years later I'm still sitting with that feedback, pondering what of that is just who I am, & what of it I might need to be different. It's not solved, but your thoughts are more grist for that mill. I'm grateful.
I think my upper elementary and middle school years would have been much easier if I had gotten this talk as a 4th grader. Thanks so much for writing this. It’s a balm to my soul.
I wish my mother had given me these words as I grew. Thank you for putting words to what so many of us women have surely felt. Saving this for my daughter as well.
This made me cry. I've been told I'm intimidating by so many people (including a couple that I've tried to date over the last year) and I feel this constant pull to make myself less. This gave me permission to stop trying to be less. I'm in a relationship now with a man who has always told me that the place that I'm in is too small for me and that I should be taking my talents where they will be celebrated and used and I realize now that he thinks I'm intimidating in the best way. Oof.
I loved the conversation about being intimidating on the podcast episode and I love this expansion.
I’m a 37 year old single straight women, and I’ve had other (generally Evangelical) women tell me most of my adult life that I’m intimidating as the reason they think I’m single 🤷🏽♀️
Intimidating’s cousin, too confident, has also been a descriptor directed at me at work, but I’ve been able to use my intimidating confidence to my advantage (mostly) in that setting.
May we be intimidating and too confident!
What a gift. Thank you.
Matthew Paul Turner’s children’s book “When I Pray for You” includes the line, “Cause when I pray for you, God knows this is true, every prayer that I whispered was a prayer for me too.”
While I know you wrote this incredible and beautiful passage for your daughters, it’s a prayer for me too. I suspect it’s a prayer for you too, Beth. So many of these attributes clearly connect many of us. You’ve made many of us feel seen and valued.
I want you to know that I see these beautiful attributes in you too.
I read this to my husband and my 19-year old daughter at the dinner table. Dear friends of mine have told me that I "scare them" and I can only assume they must mean in all the best ways you explain. My daughter gasped at "I mean that it will be hard to have true friends until everyone grows up a little more" as that has been SO TRUE for her. She and I both got choked up at the "could not be more proud of you" line. She and I hugged afterward, and then I hugged my husband too for absolutely encouraging his two "intimidating" women. Thank you Beth!
Thank you Beth! When I was about 15 my dad told me I was intimidating, he meant it the same way. I met my forever person a few months ago, and just last week he told me I was intimidating - I knew it meant he loves me for my strength.
This was my favorite part:
"When I say you are intimidating
I mean that you are at peace with yourself
in a world where that is rare and overwhelming to others"
Your girls are lucky to have you as a mama.
This is GOLDEN !
I hear your voice as I read it.
You are a life giving writer ~ pronouncing blessing and light over your daughters and readers. You encourage all to live out WHO you are and that is always ENOUGH.
THANK YOU times a million ✨
When you said this on the podcast, I burst into tears so loudly that I scared my cats. I was home visiting my parents with my husband recently, clearing out my childhood things before they moved to a new home. We found my kindergarten report card, with an entire letter attached about how I was intimidating the other children in my class. My whole childhood I was told how bad that was, how bad it made me. So reading this healed my inner child just a little bit, and I've written it down to share with my future (god willing) intimidating children. Thank you, Beth, for continuing to be one of the most thoughtful human beings on this chaotic planet.
I'm bawling my eyes out at your poem for your daughters. Partially bc of what I said before: they are SO lucky to have you. And secondly, because I so.wish Id had someone to say it to me.. You're gifted, Beth.
The amount I wish someone had said this to me at 10 and the amount I want to speak it over my daughters and students is astonishing - that you for putting words to the reality of being a woman with thoughts, opinions, and who aren’t afraid of the world
Beth, I appreciated your comments on the podcast & also here. Your words have reminded me of more than a few moments in my own life, including times when others found me "bossy" though internally I wasn't intending to dictate actions at all. You helped me realize I was problem-solving, but others experienced me as bossy. I think I can work with that. I'll note here as well how disorienting it can be to have your internal experience of yourself & the external responses to you be so at odds. I also remembered a time of processing the end of a significant friendship (an ending I didn't understand) with another close friend when I noted that I'd realized my former friend wasn't a "fighter." The friend with whom I was processing paused for a moment & then said, "It would be hard for a person who's not a fighter to be your friend." Some years later I'm still sitting with that feedback, pondering what of that is just who I am, & what of it I might need to be different. It's not solved, but your thoughts are more grist for that mill. I'm grateful.
Beautiful! I wish my ten year old self had heard this but even now at 51 it is a healing balm.
I think my upper elementary and middle school years would have been much easier if I had gotten this talk as a 4th grader. Thanks so much for writing this. It’s a balm to my soul.
This is the most beautiful thing I have ever read and resonates deeply in me. Thank you for writing this.
I wish my mother had given me these words as I grew. Thank you for putting words to what so many of us women have surely felt. Saving this for my daughter as well.
Thank you for blessing us with your good words. Good women raise good women.