"approval is not love" I will be sitting with that for awhile. I think if I am honest there are times when I would trade the complexity of being loved by imperfect people for approval. At least that is often what my actions reveal. This is a good reminder that it is a hollow replacement.
“You cannot gain or lose any love today…I tell her that it’s her work to remember this, to pave a highway in her brain that knows it.” I love that image of paving a highway. Because for so many of us, we have highways already paved from years of conditioning, telling us that what we do all day everyday is gain and lose love. But it isn’t an on/off switch. It might take years to repave that high, and that is ok.
What an essential truth you're helping your daughters and yourself internalize through the daily repetition of this reality of life. "Approval is not love." Such a word. And this too: "There will always be tasks. But the work is to remember that we are loved. It is the only way to make it in this world." I will be mulling these over today and keeping them close to my consciousness. THANK YOU.
This is such a good reminder-thank you:” It is the only way to survive our own attunements to others, all the ways we are programmed to pick up every slight, catalog every resentment, sniff out every whiff of dismissal or bemusement or annoyance. It is so easy to pave highways of not-enough, not-accepted, not-treasured.”
Yes 💗👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I needed this reminder so much that my bestie and I got matching tattoos in 2025 with the Lingala word “ekoki” which means “enough” in English.
It’s a reminder every day that we are “enough” as we are, God is big “enough” to handle it all, and there is “enough” in the world for everyone. Also, it’s our cry of “enough already!” Bonus: in Lingala “ekoki” is the word used for “daily bread” in the Lord’s Prayer.
What a wonderful reminder and joyous words to live by. This reminds me of my church small groups study of Proverbs we just wrapped, specifically Prov. 31:25. It's a wonderful reminder to shift that daily view of life and see the future with joy.
"You cannot gain or lose any love today...You are loved, wholly and completely, and that is an unchangeable fact." I use Emily P. Freeman's "The Next Right Thing Journal," and there's a place for a quote for every month. This will be February's, because it is true and beautiful and something I need to remember.
Thank you for this, Beth, such an important reminder. I've been thinking about it all week and it was especially helpful on the week I returned to work after 10 months of medical leave.
Beautiful! What an important and empowering reminder. This morning I listened to the "Wake Me Up: Morning Positivity" meditation podcast - The self love you've been longing for - and I was overwhelmed by how much I needed to hear words like yours. It seems like a simple truth but it is such an easy thing to doubt and forget.
"approval is not love" I will be sitting with that for awhile. I think if I am honest there are times when I would trade the complexity of being loved by imperfect people for approval. At least that is often what my actions reveal. This is a good reminder that it is a hollow replacement.
“You cannot gain or lose any love today…I tell her that it’s her work to remember this, to pave a highway in her brain that knows it.” I love that image of paving a highway. Because for so many of us, we have highways already paved from years of conditioning, telling us that what we do all day everyday is gain and lose love. But it isn’t an on/off switch. It might take years to repave that high, and that is ok.
What an essential truth you're helping your daughters and yourself internalize through the daily repetition of this reality of life. "Approval is not love." Such a word. And this too: "There will always be tasks. But the work is to remember that we are loved. It is the only way to make it in this world." I will be mulling these over today and keeping them close to my consciousness. THANK YOU.
This is such a good reminder-thank you:” It is the only way to survive our own attunements to others, all the ways we are programmed to pick up every slight, catalog every resentment, sniff out every whiff of dismissal or bemusement or annoyance. It is so easy to pave highways of not-enough, not-accepted, not-treasured.”
Yes 💗👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I needed this reminder so much that my bestie and I got matching tattoos in 2025 with the Lingala word “ekoki” which means “enough” in English.
It’s a reminder every day that we are “enough” as we are, God is big “enough” to handle it all, and there is “enough” in the world for everyone. Also, it’s our cry of “enough already!” Bonus: in Lingala “ekoki” is the word used for “daily bread” in the Lord’s Prayer.
Absolutely speaks to the people-pleaser in me. Approval is not love—so good Beth🥹
This is so beautiful. Sitting here crying and overwhelmed with the truth and wisdom in these words.
I need this plastered to my wall.
This is beautiful, thank you 🥹
What a wonderful reminder and joyous words to live by. This reminds me of my church small groups study of Proverbs we just wrapped, specifically Prov. 31:25. It's a wonderful reminder to shift that daily view of life and see the future with joy.
Thank you! 💛
I needed this reminder today too. Thank you!
"You cannot gain or lose any love today...You are loved, wholly and completely, and that is an unchangeable fact." I use Emily P. Freeman's "The Next Right Thing Journal," and there's a place for a quote for every month. This will be February's, because it is true and beautiful and something I need to remember.
Thank you for this, Beth, such an important reminder. I've been thinking about it all week and it was especially helpful on the week I returned to work after 10 months of medical leave.
Beautifully put, Beth. I am so glad that they have you as their mom.
Beautiful! What an important and empowering reminder. This morning I listened to the "Wake Me Up: Morning Positivity" meditation podcast - The self love you've been longing for - and I was overwhelmed by how much I needed to hear words like yours. It seems like a simple truth but it is such an easy thing to doubt and forget.